There is nothing “evil” about database triggers – they just have to be used where they can actually solve problems. In this presentation, various kinds of triggers will be examined from a global system optimization point of view that includes not only the aspect of functional correctness, but also the tradeoffs between multiple goals. For example, depending upon the available hardware, developers can select either CPU-intensive or I/O-intensive solutions. This presentation will focus on the most common performance problems related to different kinds of DML triggers and the proper ways of resolving them.